Just watched all 6 Star Wars. Formed some unpopular opinions.

With yet another re-release of the Star Wars films, this time on Blu-ray, it felt like a good time to watch all six films from 1 (1999) to 6 (1983), ie in the order Lucas would have us watch them. I recommend it if you find the time.

I tried to see the series with fresh eyes and keep an open mind. Guiltily, I made the following observations. Please don’t lynch me!

Dialogue and Narrative

The old films are seriously corny. Think Lucas sold out in 1999 with the release of The Phantom Menace? Try 1977. The most commercially exploited film franchise in history was full of cliches and crap dialogue from the off.

Action and Effects

The old films don’t stand up so well to a modern, more discerning audience. In the days before photo-realistic video games your average Joe didn’t know what it was like to shoot people with laser guns and dogfight spaceships, so the totally unrealistic scenes where bad guys can’t take down a little fighter ship in front of them whilst good guys can take down a space station with one shot got filed under poetic licence. Now that we actually live in the future and are virtual combatants in our own right we know that is total bollocks and you can see a shift in films made this millennium where technical scenes had to withstand the scrutiny of a far more discerning audience who is finding it increasingly hard to suspend their disbelief unless the science adds up.

Ja Ja Binks

We all hate Ja Ja Binks, but I think we forget just how silly and annoying Chewy and C3PO are, and that they take up far more valuable screen minutes than I remember with their antics. Particularly in The Empire Strikes Back, Chewy massively grates with his constant moaning, it’s kind of like having a pissed off, noisy baby in the cinema. These characters are certainly no more edgy or cool than poor old JJB.

Just to clarify, Ja Ja Binks is really annoying too. It’s like Lucas wanted to take the piss out of a dedicated audience who had happily bought his licensed merchandise, VHS and DVD re-releases whilst waiting the best part of two decades for the next trilogy. I also feel sorry for the actors Ewan McGregor and Liam Neeson. Did they know how stupid the scenes they were shooting would turn out to be? I find Ja Ja’s first scene where he takes the two jedis to his underwater city quite funny. McGregor and Neeson are acting so solemnly, treating the role of jedi knight with the sensitivity it deserves, whilst in post-production someone thought it was a good idea for JJB to do a triple somersault into the water, shouting “yippee” and pulling stupid faces!

What do you think?

You can get Star Wars: The Complete Saga on Blu-ray here for £68 

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